Listen, who I used to be don't matter much at all to me...

My list of things to complete this week while at NCCAT included starting a blog, so ta-da! I've come to realize a lot about myself over the years, all 29 of them, and I know that I worry entirely too much. So, this blog is all part of my plan to help with that. Maybe if I write things down I won't worry or stress as much. It's a good theory at least, right? 

I really am trying to be a better person in general and I know that in order to do that I've got to get a grip on some of my craziness. I know, I sound pretty harsh on myself, but truth is that it's a great motivator for me. I need to be a good wife, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, leader, and mom. And somewhere in all that I've realized (just recently, unfortunately) how important it is for me to be good for me...if that makes sense. Somewhere in all the chaos of everyday I think that it's so easy to forget that...and then sometimes I don't know that I even knew the actual definition of that in the first place. I guess it's maybe something you have to learn over time. People always say "you need to take care of yourself" and "take time for yourself" but that's so difficult with everything we do everyday. And, then when you do change something in your life (in my case losing weight/working out) you are smacked in the face with a big, "Oh! that's what they meant!" 

Anyway, enough sounding like I have all of the answers. We all know that is far from the truth. I do know one truth though...I miss my husband. I really don't like being apart from him. My days are so much better when we are together. Even the days that we argue and want to hurt each other are better than the ones where I don't get to see him and spend my favorite part of the day laying with him in bed snuggled up before we go to sleep. He hates that too, but he does it because he loves me. I listen to people here at NCCAT talk and complain and say how happy they are to be away from their husband/wife for a week and it reminds me how awesome Tim and I really are. 

Now, to get out a worry...my Hailey. I hope that we can figure out things with her. I really do love that silly dog even if she is crazy. I want her to have a good life and I want her to die an old, happy dog. I know somewhere in that insane head of hers she knows how to behave. I just hope I can find it with her before it's too late. I feel bad for Tim and the whole ordeal. I'm glad he loves me, or else I know that she would have already been long gone...

Ok, sleep...I have only had about 3 hours and I want to go to the gym in the morning. I need to stop avoiding going to sleep, but it's just so quiet and the bed is so big without Tim...